Santa’s use of technology

In celebration of Christmas I thought Techvibes readers would appreciate the various technologies and tools Santa uses.  And he must use vast amounts of technology.  How else can we explain how he makes gifts for millions of children around the world, he delivers them unnoticed and all in one night?  For many years, skeptics have argued that it’s a scientific impossibility for Santa to deliver presents to children all around the world.  And in one night! But a new line of research suggests that he is able to do that by employing some cutting-edge technology and advanced science.

Ok, so here we go.  The first thing that Santa must figure out is who to buy gifts for and who not to buy gifts for.  The decision is not so much a religious one.  Christians and non-Christians alike celebrate Christmas; especially children.  The decision is based on who is naughty and nice. Remember the song?  How does he figure this out?  Well, there are a couple of ways:

  1. Social Media.  Yeah, even if they’ve set your privacy settings up on Facebook Santa can still see those pictures she didn’t want her mom, girlfriend or spouse to see.  His elves just don’t make toys.  It is this writer’s belief that many of them work at CTU-LA in the Christmas off-season.  Those guys can find out anything.
  2. Listening devices in last year’s toys. That Tickle Me Elmo is doing more than just rolling around the living room laughing his head off.

How Santa is able to keep up with a growing population is also very interesting.  As the population increaes so does the number of gifts wished for.  We asked the Martin Prosperity Insitute to answer this particular question.  Here is what they found.

The worldwide delivery of gifts on Christmas Eve raises further questions with technological implications.  There is the question of how fast Santa must travel to complete his delivery on time and how Santa is able to visit every home of every child without ever being detected.  

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So how fast does Santa’s sleigh travel.  Well, not as fast as we would think.  North Carolina professor Larry Silverberg has determined that Santa has two things working for him.  First, is the fact that the reindeers are equipped with side-mounted jetpacks. The reindeer and jetpacks, which are powered by cold fusion, “are arrayed in such a way as to create a stable reindeer-sleigh system,” Silverberg says. “The sleigh’s reins are used to not only direct the heads of the reindeer, but to direct the orientation of the jetpacks for precision flight.”  

Silverberg explains that the sleigh is also equipped to make use of so-called “relativity clouds” to help ensure Santa can travel 200 million square miles, making stops in some 80 million homes, in one night. “Based on his advanced knowledge of  the theory of relativity, Santa recognizes that time can be stretched like a rubber band, space can be squeezed like an orange and light can be bent,” Silverberg says. “Relativity clouds are controllable domains that allow him months to deliver presents while only a few minutes pass on Earth. The presents are truly delivered in a wink of an eye.”

To read more about how Santa uses technology that even the Techvibes comunitty is unaware of you may want to read this and this.

To follow Santa Claus this Christmas Eve consider following him on Twitter, Google Earth, or even NORAD.